Abbott and Costello meet Captain Kidd  

December 27th 1952 - Dir: Charles Lamont - COLOUR - 

Bud: Rocky Stonebridge.  Lou: Oliver "Puddin' head"

I find this one to be Bud and Lou's last energetic film.  It's not a bad film.  A song really drags down the film halfway through because it goes on forever.  Bud produced this film but he had no on screen credit for doing so.  he was a fan of swash buckling films and he decided to create this film.  His biggest coup was obviously persuading big time actor Charles Laughton to appear as Captain Kidd.  Unusually for a Bud and Lou film, the title monster/criminal DOESN'T play it straight.  Captain Kidd in this film is a complete buffoon.  An interesting take.  It's seriously a kiddies movie but begs the question, had he played it straight would the film of been stronger?  Has he played it straight, the film would of been much darker.  
I enjoyed this film much more when I first saw it.  I hardly ever watch it these days but still remember it well.  I remember being really happy that it is a colour film (I had already seen Jack and the Beanstalk at this point).
I am reminded of just how weak the color is actually - the credits are in this really weak yellow/orange colour - they called this colour 'Super cine color' HAHAHA.  Film opens with pirate ship sailing in the seas at night against dark atmospheric music - till all the crew start singing.  The way Captain Kidd joins in, you can easily tell he is not to be taken seriously.  It's not a bad number really.  Suits the mood and only lasts about a minute.  
The Ship lands and all the men dream of the women they are about to meet.  Next thing you know, they are fights everywhere with the pirates after the women.  The owner of the tavern, throws out some men and claims "If we don't get a little life around this town soon, I'm gonna have to close up the joint" (joint? - isn't that an American Phrase??).  Next you know, we see Rocky (Bud) hugging a lady who is secretly kissing a man behind his back.  The man is played by Joe Kirk - Lou's brother in law.  A man throws a barrel against some men, they duck and the barrel crashes in a wall, the barrel breaks and we see puddin' was hiding in there!  Quite a good introduction.  Already, this is funnier than anything from their previous film, (Lost in Alaska).  Rocky leaves the woman to go over to puddin'.  The woman, falls straight into the arms of the others man.
They walk on and see a woman about to step into a muddy puddle.  In a cute scene, reminiscent of silent comedy, he takes of his coat and lays it on the puddle.  She steps on the coat and sinks down up to her waist, keeping up their manners, they take off their hats to her - then run away quickly.  Rocky tells him that he should stop trying to be a hero with every girl he meets.  A woman, Lady Jane, shouts from a building.  She tells them to deliver a love note (enclosed in a cylinder tube) to their friend Bruce who works at the tavern (where they work).  The rush off to work.
Inside the tavern, Bruce sings an entertaining song about being a bachelor.  I quite like this song really.  The boys try and sneak in the back way but the boss catches them.  They are put to work in the kitchen.  The boys argue about who will serve Captain Kidd.  Several waitors  enter with bruises and cuts and tells them how Captain Kidd hurt them for little things like spilling a few drops of water etc.  This seems out of character for the bungling fool.  Rocky hands the tray of food to puddin' and says "I don't know why I always let you get away with these things (referring to the arguement), you wait on Captain Kidd".  Puddin' takes the tray and panics and drops the food everywhere.
We cut to Captain Kidd and a female Captain, Captain Bonney - played by A+C TV show season 1 regular, Hillary Brooke. eating dinner in a private little room, separated from the rest of the tavern by a curtain.   She argues that he took treasure which doesn't belong to him.  He went into her territory, robbed a ship and buried the treasure in his island, "Skull island".  He offers to show her the map but it appears she previously picked his pocket and already has it.  He complains to the camera (indirectly), re-enforcing the film's image as a pantomime for the children.
Puddin' is stirring up new food and Lou manages to get in a very sly wink to the camera.  Rocky gives him advice how to serve the Captain.  Bud is good here, telling him he shouldn't go in to serve the Captain as if he gets hurt then no will will visit Puddin' in the hospital!  While this is going on, Puddin' has dropped a bar of soap in the food.
Captain Kidd calls out for the food as Puddin' appears behind the curtain, Kidd, grabs the food and kicks him in the belly which sends him flying out into another waitor.  Puddin' gets up and goes back in to the two Captains.  
Puddin' pours the wine but is so nervous he spills it, the Captain hits his hand which sends the cup flying from his hand.  As Puddin' retrieves it, Captain throws the map at him (in a cylinder identical to the love letter from Lady Jane - you know what's gonna happen...).  The 2 cylinders get mixed up and Puddin' puts the map down his top and gives the letter to Captain Kidd.  As they start eating, they realise the food tastes horrible.  Displaying real menace for once, the Captain tells Puddin' to eat the food.  Before long, they have a drink of wine then  bubbles start to appear out their mouth.  After a brief routine, Puddin' goes of to get more wine.    
He spots Bruce but doesn't get a chance to deliver the map.  Their is another slight routine with  Puddin' getting in trouble with the pirates in the bar.  The man who says 'I seen some ugly faces, but yours takes the cake' I think is the extra who asks Lou for a match in A+C meet Dr Jeykll and Mr. Hyde.
Rocky is peeling onions and is crying.  Puddin' thinks he is crying over him.  Rocky has a go at him for not delivering the letter.  As he takes it out the cylinder, he sees the map.  Puddin' says that Captain Kidd put it in there while he wasn't looking and screws it up and throws it away.  The map gets screwed up quite a lot but in every close up of it, it looks brand new!!  Rocky decides to disguise themselves as important people and go see the Captain.  The Captain has just realized the switch when he calls for the waiter.  Enter the boys in costume.  "Allow me to present Captain Puddin' fothergill of the king's guard" announces Rocky.  Puddin' is wearing a fake moustache so the Captain won't recognize him.
They do some good business in this scene.  Lou and Charles Laughton are clearly enjoying working together.   Puddin' sneezes and the moustache comes off (funny scene as Lou tries to hide it).   The boys tell the Captain they have hidden the map.  So the story is:  It's Captain Bonney's treasure, Captain Kidd's island but the boys have the map.  They all set sail for the island on Captain Kidd's boat but with Captain Bonney's boat following.  There is quite a long song that has it's moments as they all board the ship.  The best part is Abbott's dubbed singing voice.  All of a sudden, he sounds like an opera tenor.  I wonder if this fooled anyone??  It certainly makes me smile.  The boys see Bruce and throw him the love letter (Puddin' has both cylinders down his top) to him, only of course it's the map.  Luckily, Bruce gets shanghaied too and is forced to work on the ship.
Once on board, Captain Kidd holds the boys and tells him to give him the map (trust Rocky and Puddin' not to see this coming).  Of course he only has the love letter on him.  Puddin' tells the Captain it disapeared and Captain orders his first mate to take them away.  These scenes with the boys and Captain Kidd are fun to watch and have good chemistry.  In the next scene, the boys are called to Captain's private quarters, where Rocky tells Captain Kidd that Puddin' has the map - Rocky is led away and is told to be treated as a guest.  Lou and Laughton have long scene where the Captain tries to tell Puddin' how to be a pirate. (foreshadowing the end).  It's a cheesy but entertaining scene.  
Puddin' upsets the captain so much he has the boys put in irons.  Next day they are on the ship handcuffed.  Bonney comes over to them and says only a romeo would inspire such a letter, she is starting to have feelings for him.  They make a deal and she unlocks them as he gives her the map.  She walks off quickly and opens it.  It's the letter.  The boys bump into Bruce and he asks why they gave him a map.  Captain Kidd snatches the cyclinder from Bonney believing it to be the map but when he starts to read it (it's the letter) he decides to find the boys and make them eat it!  Now Puddin' has the real map and is looking for Bonney.  He bumps into Kidd and Kdd asks how he managed to get untied.  What follows in the handcuff routine that Lou performed with William Bendix in Who Done it?  That version was way funnier than this.  This version is more childish.  Captain Kidd locks himself up demonstrating to Puddin' how to lock some up properly.  Puddin' grabs the letter and runs off to Rocky and Bruce.  
As Bruce reads the letter, Puddin' tells Rocky about how he single handedly locked up the Captain.  The (always) disbelieving Abbott follows him.  Unfortunately, The Captain's first mate, Morgan, untied the captain (Who gets a lot of verbal for his trouble, it's clear he is not happy with the Captain from this point on).  They boys do the second half of the routine with Laughton.  This was much funnier in Who done it? where Bud had much more to do.  This time, he sees the Captain is free (he pretends to be locked) and runs off.  Lou does his usual routine of the laugh that melts into tears once he realises what has happened.  He drags the scene on a little to long.
The Captain is about to stab him when another ship is sighted.  This is quite a lengthy battle.  Captain Bonney tells the boys that the Captain might spare their lives if they fight.  She kisses Puddin' and tells him to take it into battle with him, as soon as she goes, Rocky tells them to hide.  Their are lots of gags and a bit of action in these scenes.  Lady Jane, (remember her?  She wrote the note!) happened to be on the other ship and is forced aboard the Captain's ship.  The boys recognise her and tells the crowd that she wrote the letter - Captain Bonney is NOT happy that they are bought together.  She still thinks that the letter was written for him!  The fact that Lady Jane was on the other ship is way to much of a coincidence.  It asks to many questions like how did she end up traveling on the sea going in another direction.  If she knew she was traveling, why did she write the note?  Nevertheless, we have to remind ourselves it's a pantomime and just accept it.
Puddin' makes a deal with the Captain (who has the hots for Lady Jane).  He will give him the map if the Captain gives him a rowing boat so himself and Rocky can go to America.  The Captain takes his word for it that he has the map and lets him have the boat first.  Puddin' gives him the cylinder but the Captain doesn't check the contents till Puddin' grabs the top of the boat and wrecks it!  The Captain opens the cylinder and has the map.  End of the act.  
later, Puddin' is delivering good to Lady Jane but is not hungry.  Puddin' explains about Bruce being kidnapped and forced to work (as Bud himself was in real life when he was 16!!).  Anyway, she sings the song that goes on forever.  It's a dreary song and Bruce joins in from outside when he hears it.  Lou gets up to some funny antics though while they are singing it.  From this song, we can assume they are falling in love.   With such love going on, Puddin' remembers that Bonney fancies him and he goes to see her in her quarters.  She can't resist kissing him but she faints after they do.  Weirdly, he walks out the door and is about to knock on it to enter again where Rocky accosts him.  
Rocky tells Puddin' they have to search the Captain's quarters and find the map and they go look for it.  This is an entertaining scene.  Lou does his breathless routine, there is a running gag that whenever he opens the window, a huge tidal wave crashes through the window soaking him.  Whenever Bud opens it, nothing happens of course.  They boys are good in this scene. They finally locate the map and Rocky tells Puddin' to study it and eat it but to keep it in his mind.  How weird!  It's a good plan but they both should of remembered it.  Trusting Puddin' is a bit like suicide really.  Strangely, the Captain walks in (unknown to them and lets him eat the map!) and then he walks out.  Rocky decides to leave.  Puddin' wants to stay and draw a moustache on the huge life size of portrait of the Captain.  The canvas peels back unknown to Puddin' and the real Captain is standing there.  The captain walks down out of the picture frame and draws a picture on Puddin'!  Kidd says he feels much better and opens the window.  Instinctively, Puddin' ducks and Kidd laughs.  Kidd walks away and Puddin' opens the window and gets soaked by another tidal wave.  Kidd laughs harder and opens the door to exit, a huge tidal wave crashes through the door soaking him!  An amusing if predictable scene. 
Next day, they have spotted Skull island.  The pirates sing a song as they all row ashore.  It's not a bad song really.  It flows well with the scene.  Also, it lasts about a minute (maybe less).  The characters by camera as they talk on the beach are to  well lit compared to the sea in the background which makes it obvious they are using the blue screen effect.  Morgan has found the boys hiding in bags and Kidd tells Bruce to make sure Lady Jane doesn't escape.  Kidd hands the boys shovels and tells them to find the spot and dig.  The boys do another pantomime routine here that is good to watch (though again, aimed at the children).  Weirdly, at the end of it, Rocky says he is going to relax!
The photography tries to look nice as we see it is now sunset but the dreadful colour really spoils it.  Lady Jane and Bruce kiss.  By now the boys have dub quite a deep hole they are down it digging out dirt.  After some comedy business, they find the treasure and bring it up.   Kidd tells his men to bury them in the hole.  Bud has a really weird line here "Aren't they nice fellas helping us to fill this hole?".  Another example of how Bud's characters changed from the 40s to the 50s.   Kidd tells Bonney he is going to double cross her so she goes to rescue the boys.  I quite like the music in the background as they accidently keep falling back in the hole).  Bonney tells then she is going to flag down her ship while they distract Captain Kidd.  On the beach, Bruce and Jane acting as if they are loyal to the men, sing to Captain Kidd and his men, (that awful song again!!).  Kidd spots the boys and runs after them.  They knock him out with a shovel.  Rocky says they have to save Jane and Bruce too.  
As the song continues (for another few minutes), Puddin' enters the scene dressed as Captain Kidd!  The drunken pirates can't tell the difference though Morgan looks a bit suspicious.   Costello's impression of Charles Laughton is pretty funny.  Puddin' tells the other pirates he is going to 'woo the wench' and takes her out of there.  As Rocky, Puddin' and Jane meet behind the tree, Puddin' asks where Bonney is.  She enters with Bruce.  As Puddin' demonstrates how he knocked out Kidd, Kidd wakes up and Puddin' accidentally knocks him out again!  Bonney tells them she is going to signal the ship and everyone follows her.  Rocky makes Puddin' stay and watch over Kidd.  Bud and Lou do their usual act of "I'll go there and you wait here.  No?, OK, You wait here and I'll go over there!".  The only time this made me laugh was in Ride 'em cowboy where the boys perform it flawlessly. 
Her ship is in sight and the receive her signal.  They know she is in trouble and man the guns.  Kidd wakes up crying and feeling sorry for himself.  Puddin' hands him a hanky and asks if he is alright now.  Kidd says he feels much better - then Puddin' knocks him out again!  This was officially the most degrading screen moment of 1953!  (Hadn't these people who answered the polls ever watch the abysmal 'Glen or Glenda'??).
Bonney's ship fires at the island.  Morgan finds Puddin' and realises something is wrong, then he notices the real Captain Kidd on the floor.  Puddin' knocks him out with the shovel.  Leif Erickson plays Morgan and Costello knocked him out in exactly the same way ten years earlier in 'Pardon my sarong!'.
The pirates get wiped out.  As Puddin' gets the row boat ready so they can escape to the boat, Bonney's crew mistake him for captain Kidd and blow up a barrel he has to hide in when he hears shots being fired at him.  All you can see is his white underwear and they mistake it for the white flag.   The pantomime reaches new heights now.  Puddin' gets up, Rocky appears and has a go at him, Kidd appears and Rocky runs off.  Puddin' thinks he fooled Rocky but Morgan who survived (he got knocked out too remember) drags him back.  Laughton does lots of add-libbing now and even says to the camera that 'This thing is driving me crazy!'.  He runs after Puddin'.  Lou and Laughton do lots of gags here, in the end, Kidd thinks he kills Puddin' but he is mistaken.  It's childish fun, but pretty fast paced.
Morgan is on the beach now and has switched sides.  He offers his services to Bonney.  Puddin' appears and talks like Kidd.  He tells Rocky and Morgan to take the treasure aboard the ship and tells Jane and Bruce to keep their eye on them.  Then he tells Bonney to keep her eye on him!  They kiss and this time, HE faints!
Last scene now, everyone on board Bonney's ship and Puddin' is somehow the Captain.  Kidd is tied up upside.  Watch his lips, they mouth the words 'Heeyy AAbbooottt!!' but we hear a dubbed cry for 'Morgan' (as we heard in the handcuff scene).
The End

So all in all, it's not a bad film.  Very similiar atmosphere to Jack and Beanstalk thanks to the production values, songs, ham acting and the costumes.  This film made more at the box office than Beanstalk which Bud often reminded Lou about.  After A+C go to Mars, Lou was supposed to produce another film, then a Universal picture then Bud was supposed to do anther film etc but it was never to be.  Younger children will appreciate this film more than anyone else, but some of the songs really bog the film down.  Bud and Lou are in good form and are clearly enjoying the ride.