Visit the UNDERGROUND MASKER page to learn more about the famous Tube minstrel, Underground Masker.

I use dust masks when travelling on the London Underground, because the tunnels are full of filthy black dust, which is apparent when one blows one's nose following a 20-minute Tube journey.

Hang on, before you go any further, why do you wear a mask on the Tube but not on the streets? It's just as polluted outside!

Yes, I suppose it is. Here's why not:

Tube tunnels are filled with thick dust, comprised of quite large particles.
City streets are filled with pollution, harmful ingredients of which are gaseous.
To filter out harmful gases from the air, FFP3 masks are required, with active carbon filters.
To filter out dust from the air, FFP2 masks are sufficient.
FFP3 masks are expensive.
FFP2 masks are (relatively) inexpensive.
I can't afford FFP3 masks, whereas I can afford FFP2 masks.
Wearing an FFP2 mask outside is therefore somewhat pointless.
You'd have to spend a good couple of hours above ground before your snot were to become as black as it would be following a mere 20 minutes on the Tube!

Don't you wear your mask around smokers?

To make a point, I've been known to wear the mask for short periods in the so-called "non-smoking area" of particularly smoky pubs and bars, especially when sat near smokers smoking away at the non-smoking tables.

I hate smoking.

Wetherspoon's are currently in the process of completely de-smoking a number of their pubs. I have been to two such pubs, and it is incredibly refreshing to both be able to taste one's beer instead of somebody else's smoke, and to return home, eyes not stinging, and find that you don't have to immediately wash your hair or clothes since they smell decidedly clean.

Which Tube lines are the dustiest?

All of them! I use the Piccadilly and Victoria lines regularly, which are among the dustier lines. The Jubilee line extension is much cleaner. Sub-surface lines (eg. Circle, District) are surprisingly dusty. Do not underestimate them.

Which type of mask do you wear?

The mask I use is a 3M type 9211 N95, if you're in America, or type 06923 FFP2, if you're in Europe, 3-panel mask with valve. I find the material more comfortable and softer than fixed-shape masks, the rubber straps stretchy and the valve very useful indeed. Each mask lasts about 3 weeks (18 hours' use - see table). I then get fed up with just how black the dust has made the mask and replace it with a new one.

Is LU doing anything about all that filth?

There are deep-level tunnel cleaning trains (like giant vacuum cleaners) that you may see on the Underground in the middle of the night, but I've only seen one once. I presume that these machines are used while the network is closed as well. I have read that it is obvious to drivers when a tunnel cleaner has been in operation the night before, as the disturbed dust still hangs in the air.

New mask (top: Mask 2) and mask after 3 weeks' use (bottom: Mask 1).

Tube Usage and Dust Levels

The following table summarises the frequency and duration of my Tube travel.

That's 375 minutes total - so I spend roughly 6 hours on the Tube each week.

Mask 1.

I decided to start wearing a dust mask on the Tube, so I obtained one of the 3M masks mentioned above and wrote "I've got SARS!" on it in Biro, a suggestion from Simon. Of course, I don't really have SARS, but if you believe what I wrote on the mask you deserve to get SARS anyway.

Everyone looks at the mask, as if I'm some kind of fool. After 2 weeks (12 hours use), when the blackness really becomes noticeable from a distance, I ought to have written "Look what you're all breathing in" on the other side of the mask. I didn't, and am considering this for the next mask.

In addition to this, other passengers give me a wide berth on the Tube. At one point, a woman sat down next to me, and upon realising that she'd just sat next to me, immediately got up and moved to the other end of the carriage!

I have, so far, noticed only one group of people who got the "SARS" joke. I'm sure there are more - not EVERYONE is stupid.... right?

Mask 2.

I have started a new mask after the old one got too dirty (see photo above). After a week (6 hours), the dust is already apparent.

02/02/05: Oh no! I leave my mask at a friends. Not wishing to start a new one, I brave the Tube for a day without the mask. Hopefully we'll be reunited tomorrow.

07/02/05: Today, some idiot, while getting off a packed Victoria line train, commented, "You got Aids or sumfin, mate?", to which I said nothing since he was getting off the train, and would never see me again, and was therefore not worth my breath. I did, however, think, "Take your ignorance and shove it up your arsehole". His comment was wrong in so many different ways.

10/02/05: The mask is as black as the Ace. It's been 2 and a bit weeks and it's really filthy. It now says "Look what YOU'RE inhaling!", which I think is a suitable warning to all.

Mask 3.

22/03/05: Mask 3 was actually the mask before this one but that got lost. I (foolishly, perhaps) chose to decorate this one with the simple slogan "Got Filth?", which is a bit American but conveys my point quite succinctly. The mask before this (Mask 2) ended up having the slogan "BREATHE THAT TUBE DUST!" scrawled on it as well as "Look what YOU'RE inhaling!", and became possibly the blackest mask yet. Mask 3 was in use for less time than usual although it did serve me well during two Tube Challenge test runs: 3-hour periods of high activity.

Mask 4.

22/03/05: Mask 4 was started a few weeks ago. It doesn't have a slogan yet but it's filthy and obviously so.

Today there was a beautiful moment of enlightenment as I stood on the platform of Finsbury Park waiting for a train to take me towards the bike shop to get some bits for the Restoration. The train arrived and, as it did, I noticed that the Victoria train driver was also wearing a mask. This may well be the driver that I'd noticed before who inspired my own mask-wearing. I got off the train at Green Park and walked to the front while it was waiting at the platform. I stood there and looked at the driver, who immediately turned to see me, and I gave the thumbs-up. He returned the gesture and waved back, and I walked away, with a spring in my step, feeling happy and satisfied. Wonderful stuff.

Here's a picture of the three most recent dust masks, as well as a new one in its wrapping. The photograph really shows how black the masks can get with the Tube dust! Remember that each one has had around 20 hours, usually less, of use on the London Underground.

I shall now cease to report on the usage of the masks, as it is an ongoing and repetitive process, unless something extraordinary happens!