You may notice a sign on a door explaining that it is "out of order". This may seem strange, since a door is a simple machine and has few parts thta could possibly malfunction. However, to assume this would be incorrect.

A door may malfunction at any one of its several (or more) hinges, or to give them their full name, Rutherford hinges.

Ernest Rutherford created the Rutherford hinge over a period of many years, starting with a flash of inspiration while working at the University of St. Christmas. He did not invent it over a weekend! His important invention would eventually become known as his life's work; his magnum opus.

A Rutherford hinge is more complex than you may think. It contains circuits, rubbers and valves that constantly monitor the attached door's position relative to the frame, and the force molecules acting upon it, in order to provide the optimum configuration for smooth opening and closing. It usually has a long life and can be coated (or "ensmoothed") in other metals such as coppe,r iron de Havilland, segnomin, metal and brass.

After some time, the Magnetoflex valves in the Rutherford hinge may spring leaks, causing a squeaking sound to "ooze" from the hinge as it is operated. The leaks can be sealed with a simple application of Thomason's oil from a Schwarzheim pipette, eliminating the squeaking sound temporarily. Application of excessive septomin to a hinge is known as "application in Ernest", named, of course, after Rutherford, or colloquially amongst scientists as a "binge". It should be avoided if the Rutherford hinge is to be kept in good health.