Welcome to the home of the Underground Masker.

Who? The Underground Masker is a songwriter, "singer", rapper and "musician". He is a hip-hop artist as well as an alto and baritone operatic legend. He is a virtuoso thereminist, guitarist, drummer, bassist and ocarina player. Do not believe His lies. He is the one.

DISCOGRAPHY

Stand on the Right, Please (District line Dub): 2005 CD single
Copies produced: ~25

The Underground Masker's debut release was created in time for the 2005 Zone 1 Challenge and hence focusses heavily on the sport of Tube Challenging. Based on the backing music of Bob Nudd's "Maggots In Ya (your) Catapult" (LYRICS HERE), it was an easy track to record due to the availability of the ready-made music. Vocals were recorded with a single microphone at the House of Steel and mixing was accomplished using the Cool Edit Pro software. To complete the District line Dub package, the "Caldera" classic, The Tournament, was also included on the CD; CD labels were printed and the single was recorded onto discs with clear jewel cases for a very (relatively) professional finish.

Track Listing
1. Stand on the Right, Please (District line Dub) 3:35 DOWNLOAD MP3
2. (welcome to) The Tournament (badger mix) 0:10 DOWNLOAD MP3

Bakerloo E.P. (Preview Edition): 2005 CD special edition
Copies produced: 2 (one colour CD label, one B&W. Both B&W sleeves.)

With a couple more songs recorded (well, one and a remix), the Underground Masker became excited and had to record them onto a CD for posterity. With fans anxious to hear the new tracks before the album was completed, the Bakerloo EP Preview Edition was created.
The Preview Edition saw the first appearance of the song "Master Masker", a Gwen Stefani-backed "maskerpiece" that has since gone on to become a major national cult classic. The Masker departed from His usual hip-hop roots and began to edge towards a more "shouty-R-n-B" approach, as He complained about trains being late and workmen being overpaid.
Also present was AFS's seminal remix of Stand On The Right Please, in which Geoff Marshall makes quite a long appearance on the telephone. Have your say, come on, on the news of the day.
Some songs were not present on the Preview edition of the Bakerloo EP and are unlikely to be included on the EP itself anyway.

Track Listing
1. Stand on the Right, Please (District line Dub) 3:35 DOWNLOAD MP3
2. Master Masker (Station Master) feat. AFS (Bakerloo edit) 3:22 DOWNLOAD MP3
3. (welcome to) The Tournament (badger mix) 0:10 DOWNLOAD MP3
4. Stand on the Pressure (AFS Remix) feat. Geoff Marshall 4:29 DOWNLOAD MP3

Not Included: Bakerloo (sandwich edit), Underground King (know what I mean?), James and the Theremin

Bakerloo E.P. : 2006 CD EP

This culmination of the Underground Masker's illustrious career could be His last hurrah. Will He succeed in outrunning the Martian Fighting Machines through the escape-route of the Tube Challenge and gain the World Record at the end of it all? Will He survive a trip to the near reaches of the northern Bakerloo line? Will Euston station become angry? What will happen on the Drain on the way to Bank? Stay tuned for a release this side of the 2006 Zone One Challenge, and find out.

Track Listing
1. Bakerloo (Sandwich mix) 3:44 DOWNLOAD MP3
2. Stand on the Right, Please (District line Dub) 3:35 DOWNLOAD MP3
3. The Goodge Street Shuffle 2:18 DOWNLOAD MP3
4. Master Masker (Station Master) 3:22 DOWNLOAD MP3
5. Stand on the Right, Please (Twelve String Theory) feat. House of Steel Gentlemen's Choir 3:34 DOWNLOAD PREVIEW CLIP MP3
6. Stand on the Pressure (AFS Remix) feat. Geoff Marshall 4:29 DOWNLOAD MP3
7. To The Trains! (To The Trains!) 4:46
8. Eerie Sound of Dormant Train in Disused Aldwych Branch Tunnel 6:02
9. SECRET HIDDEN SONG! (feat. Chris Presswell) 2:30

The BAKERLOO E.P. with 8-page inlay booklet will be available for a small donation (of £3) at the meet-up after the 2006 Zone One Challenge. Email me to reserve a copy if you don't want to be disappointed!

LYRICS

Bakerloo

Mind the gap. This station is Waterloo. This train is ready to depart. Stand clear of the doors. Mind the closing doors.

Waterloo, Waterloo.
Waterloo, waterloo, la, la
Waterloo, Waterloo,
This station is Waterloo.

From the platforms at Waterloo, there are myriad places to travel to
There's trains on rails and buses on roads but you're in no danger of catching a boat
Unless you visit Millennium Pier, more than ten miles from Teddington Weir.
Please beware when you disembark, the Thames is flooding! BUILD AN ARK!
And down on the Drain you can travel to Bank while reading a paper and having a...

At Waterloo, Waterloo
Waterloo, waterloo, la, la
Waterloo, Waterloo,
From the trains at Waterloo.
Waterloo, Waterloo!
On the trains down on the Tube (down on the Drain you can travel to Bank)
At Waterloo, please stand clear of the closing doors

The Bakerloo is painted brown. It doesn't pass through Camden Town
It misses Euston and King's Cross 'cos if it didn't, they'd both be angry.
Beware the youths who lurk in the dark at Maida Vale and Kilburn Park
They'll steal your wallet, steal your phone, your Oyster card and the keys to your home
So don't go up there; it's not worth the fuss. It's not even worth going up there by bus,
By car, by plane, by blimp or by boat, by anything that flies or by anything that floats
You won't catch me on the Bakerloo for the following reason I'm telling you:
The Underground Masker is utterly sick of the uniformed beggars who ask for your tickets!

Bakerloo, Bakerloo
Bakerloo, Bakerloo, poo, poo
Bakerloo, Bakerloo,
Take the Tube from Waterloo.
Bakerloo, Bakerloo!
Just avoid the Bakerloo!
It's painted brown
It doesn't go to Camden
Release the theremin solo!

I've thought of an interesting word with three syllables, and the third
Letter is "M", the first is P. The seventh is "O", intriguingly.
The second and fifth are exactly the same. Oh, how my word games mess with your brain!
And mine as well! Now what was I saying? What was the game at which we were playing?
I can't remember! Give me a clue! Suggest a station to travel to!
One to where I don't usually go. That one will do!

Pimlico, Pimlico
Pimlico, Pimlico, no, no,
Pimlico, Pimlico,
What's the point of Pimlico?
Pimlico, Pimlico!!
That's a pointless station though!
The only non-interchange station on the Victoria Line! PIMLICO!

The Goodge Street Shuffle (with a nod to Project Adorno)

Oh, the games that we play with the trains down at Waterloo.
Another cancellation at Clapham Junction for you.
A late preceding service has left you nervous?
Maybe it's time for the Goodge St Shuffle.

You put your left foot forward with the right one following through
You jog your shoulders up and down in a Charlie Chaplin kind of move
Tap your feet in protest! This train is not approaching
Everybody get on down and do the Goodge St Shuffle

Do the Goodge Street Shoe Shine Shuffle as you wait in the queue
Jumping up and down in the lifts all doing the moves
Your train long overdue, my friend, Well, you ain't moving anywhere
Nothing better to do than the Goodge Street Shuffle

You put your left foot forward with the right one following through
You jog your shoulders up and down in a Charlie Chaplin kind of move
Forget commuter jazz, this is where it's at
Get on down to the sound of the Goodge Street Shuffle

Oh, the games that we play on the trains down at Waterloo.
Another cancellation at Clapham Junction for you.
When the trains go down the tube, put on your platform shoes
No need to feel blue
Well, you know just what to do.
Everybody's doing it too
They do the Goodge Street Shuffle

Stand on the Right, Please

Come Tube running with the Underground bandits.
Bring a mask and a packet of biscuits.
Bring your log book, bring your plasters.
I'm the man, King Challenge, the Zone 1 Master
the Blaster, the Master Masker!
Compared to me, there's nobody faster!
I'm on a Tube race, I won't mess around,
that's why you're on the surface and I'm underground.

Comin' at ya! On a Jubilee train!
Stanmore to Baker Street's the route in my brain!
I'm the Theydon Bois boy, I'm the Ruislip ragamuffin.
Snoop Grenny Greenwich, gonna knock out yo' stuffin'.
From Edgware to Epping, that's what I do.
I'm on a Tube Challenge, I'm telling you.
Comin' at ya! Changing lines with my expertise.
Escalator tourists, stand on the right, please.

(Tube challenge) Stand on the right, please!
(Tube challenge) Get out the way!

Down in the deep-level, what do I see?
A Bakerloo driver who's lookin' right up at me!
I say, "what?", I say, "What?!", I say, "Queen's Park?!"
"H&W's the stop for me!
"I'm the champion!
"The Marylebone man!
"If I can't do all stations then nobody can!
"I need Wembley, I'm the Zone D Thunderer
"And you, Mr. Driver, are a Bakerloo blunderer!"

A big white train comin' up from the GROUND
I write it in the logbook as I travel northbound
I run overground from Ickenham to Ruislip
and head down to Heathrow international flight-strip
A Guinness world record is what I need
It's all just a question of running at speed
It's all just a question of travelling with ease
So 'scuse me, out the way, stand on the right, please.

(chorus)

When your train's on time and you're ahead for a while
Smile, smile, smile, it's an Underground trial.
But if the train's late, keep your head straight
and take the first service from Notting Hill Gate
I'm a focussed machine when the signal turns green!
I can cross platforms quicker than you could ever dream
like a BEAST RELEASED from ALDGATE EAST
for the sake of the record
STAND ON THE RIGHT, PLEASE!

(chorus)