Here's a selection of top tips for travelling on the London Underground, from Dustmeister Anthony himself.

1. OPEN ALL THE VENTS!
I don't mean "open the vent above you and hope the train cools down"; I mean OPEN THEM ALL. The train will NOT cool down unless ALL the vents are open! Open the windows at BOTH ends of the carriage. These are especially important as they allow air to enter the carriage as well as leave it. Apathy is not an option here. Remember: if any vents are closed, you will DIE OF HEAT EXHAUSTION. You have been warned!

2. STAND ON THE RIGHT, PLEASE!!
We Tube Challengers need a clear path to pass you on the escalators. We are faster than you. You will get in our way unless you stand to the right. Get out of the way!

3. Don't cause any disturbances.
If you're too busy shouting at somebody to fail to notice that your argument is holding up the entire train and the 500 people it contains, there is something seriously wrong with you. Get off the damn train and sort your life out, you pathetic scum.

4. Don't abuse the staff.
I know you've drunk a few too many pints of Stella, but you must understand that the station staff are usually trying to help. What did they do to harm you? Vent your frustration on your own property, or a suitably sturdy concrete bollard, or something.

5. Don't hold the doors open
unless you're on a Tube challenge.