At the precise time Paolo Di Canio's lawyers were presenting the case for the defence, Paul Alcock showed me a letter from a Class III referee of 30 years, thanking him for standing up to the thug element pervading the national game. That Alcock will forever be the referee whose pride could not prevent him taking the most replayed fall in English football did not obscure the point.

Another of his messages of support came from a young referee from Merseyside who said he would not lose faith, despite those who ribbed him about "that ref who's a diver". The insinuation still makes Alcock shudder as violently as he did at Hillsborough last month when Sheffield Wednesday's short-fused Italian decided, quite literally, to take the law into his own hands and, again, when he heard the verdict after Di Canio's hearing the day before yesterday.

The kind of dignity Alcock has displayed since the after-noon his world turned side-ways-on meant he would not be drawn too far on the severity or the lack of it - of the sentence. His desire is to remain on the Premiership's elite list of 18 referees for the rest of this season and the further three which are his to be endured unless poor performances decree otherwise.

He simply wanted the Football Association to decide what was right for football. We spoke in his manager's office at the Chequers Shopping Centre in Maidstone before the verdict was released because he insisted it should be that way. "It's not my business what happens in Sheffield," he said, "it's the business of all the referees in this country. There's a concern from my Point of view but I'm not going to voice it, because everyone in this country knows what I'd want.

Did he get it? I think not. Though Di Canio apologised to the commission, he has never done so to Alcock. That gesture might fully begin the healing process. The incessant repeats of the referee's fall replayed this week should have served to, sharpen football's sense of regret. Instead, even his own nine-year-old daughter Rachel, said: "Oh no, they're showing that again daddy. You look so funny when you fall over." "She doesn't realise 'the seriousness of it all," Alcock sighs.

It made matters worse when those a lot older and, thus, supposedly wiser, Ian Wright and Neil Ruddock, played the fool by re-enacting the incident when West Ham played Southampton 48 hours after the event. Alcock had declined an invitation from his fellow referee, Uriah Rennie, to be a guest of his that evening. "I'm just glad I wasn't there," he said. "And, worse, people tell me Ruddock was at it behind my back when I refereed West Ham and Aston Villa last weekend. If I'd known that was going on, him simulating a push and a fall, I'd have dealt with it. But if he thinks that's funny somebody's got to tell him that it's not. And pretty quickly."

The 44-year-old Alcock's recollection of events on Sept 26 are strikingly vivid, which is not surprising given how often they have since been shown in his own living room. Arsenal's Patrick Vieira delightfully beat two Wednesday players, only to have his shirt tugged by Wim Jonk. The Frenchman's initial reaction - to lash out in a manner which Alcock decided merited a caution - began a reaction which would have repercussions.

"I was four yards away from the incident, which I had perfectly in my control when Di Canio ran towards Vieira and put both hands on his shoulders. Martin Keown (the Arsenal defender) then came in quickly and struck Di Canio's nose with his fore-arm and immediately brought his arm down to Di Canio's neck to hold him off. To me, that was a red card offence. I was going to send Keown off, then Di Canio reacted with a kick, they got each other around the neck and Di Canio appeared to try to get at Keown's face. Another Sheffield Wednesday player grabbed Di Canio and pulled him away.

"I was still focusing in to see if anyone else was doing anything violent. I signalled to both Keown and Di Canio that I wanted them, but as Di Canio was nearest to the touchline, and to avoid them passing each other, I decided to deal with him first. I didn't feel under threat at all. There was nothing controversial about it and it transpires Di Canio said he was expecting the red card. Then he put his right arm out as if to gauge where I was an pushed me with both arms in the chest.

"It was the shock more than anything. My body wanted me to fall to the ground but my pride demanded that I stay on my feet. The last thing I wanted was falling flat on my face in a match which was being televised to 30 countries. Who would want that embarrassment? Anyway, my body won. Pre-season I'd had a serious back injury and, as I was falling, I was thinking, "Oh God, I can't land on my spine. That could mean the end for me". So I chose to turn to avoid landing on my back and fell more on my side. The whole thing seemed to take an eternity.

Alcock thought about quitting, then wondered why he should throw away 28 years of enjoyment for something "that wasn't my fault". A few days later, at a parents' evening at his son's school, Alcock found out that James had stood up in front of his classmates and talked about the story that was in all the papers. "The teacher told us he'd said that his daddy had been on television and he was proud to be talking about me to his friends."

There is something there a lot of us - referees, FA councillors, Ian Wright, Neil Ruddock, Arsene Wenger and Mr Paolo Di Canio - could learn from a six-year-old.

Alcock thought about quitting, then wondered why he should throw away 28 years of enjoyment for something "that wasn't my fault". A few days later, at a parents' evening at his son's school, Alcock found out that James had stood up in front of his classmates and talked about the story that was in all the papers. "The teacher told us he'd said that his daddy had been on television and he was proud to be talking about me to his friends."

There is something there a lot of us - referees, FA councillors, Ian Wright, Neil Ruddock, Arsene Wenger and Mr Paolo Di Canio - could learn from a six-year-old.

"I had to decide what to do next - to abandon the game? I knew I had to pull myself together because Keown had to be sent off, and there might have been other things occurring while I was falling. Danny Wilson, the Sheffield Wednesday manager, was absolutely brilliant. He talked straight into my face for about a minute about everything but the incident helping me get my composure back. 'Come on Paul,' he said. 'take a few deep breaths and get back out there'." Any words from Arsene Wenger? "Not a thing," Alcock said. Keown went off, Vieira was yellow-carded for the original foul, Alcock survived and came out for the second half as if he was in charge of a completely different game. "The players kept coming up and asking if I was all right," he said. "I played what I thought was a fabulous advantage for Wednesday's winning goal, but no one mentioned that on Match of the Day that evening. Everyone was consumed with Di Canio."

Alcock's mobile rang non-stop on the way home, and started again at nine on Sunday morning. He counted 47 calls in two days. To escape for a few hours, he took his family go-karting, only for a kid of about 11 to walk up and say he hated a man he had never met for sending off Keown. That afternoon, the press started knocking on his door, camping in his front garden. Around a dozen arrived and said they were prepared to stay all night, which got his six-year-old son James agitated. "He told me I should call the Army, and when I said we couldn't do that he wanted me to send for the Queen. He wanted someone to come and protect his daddy. They finally left when they realised they weren't going to get anything from me."