Address by Brian Hugh MacDermot at the funeral of Brian Charles MacDermot, 1^st May 2003

It is a great honour to be asked to say a few words about Brian Charles MacDermot, (CBE) Commander of the British Empire, (LVO) Lieutenant of the Victorian Order, a distinguished diplomat and scholar. In 10 minutes how difficult it is to cover someone's whole life. I emphasise the Charles because my father was such an admirer of Brian's even at an early age, that he gave me the same name, only pronounced slightly differently. This later led to some confusion.

Brian was born in 1914, the eldest of seven children. His father, Percy MacDermot, was the 8th of thirteen children of Hugh Hyacinth O'Rourke, The MacDermot, Prince of Coolavin and Attorney General of Ireland. My father was the 13th.

I first heard of Brian's academic career when he was at Ampleforth and then Downside, where he was the Gregorian Medallist for his year, one of the greatest honours the school can give. Brian then went on to Balliol College, Oxford to read History and later won a one year Laming fellowship to Queen's College, Oxford. I would like to provide fond memories of his youth, but alas, I was not born yet. So for tales of Drumdoe in Ireland I have turned to his sister Patricia. Life there from Patricia's account, much resembled Somerville and Ross's 'Tales of an Irish RM'. Patricia reports that their father talked about Brian at Drumdoe as always "educating himself' - a book in hand teaching himself something. This was borne out by my sister Nancy, who remembered Brian shut up in a room in our house in London, listening to Chinese records and trying to learn the language whilst she and his brother Myles were in quarantine for measles next door.

As for Oxford, I vaguely remember some stories about Brian’s misdemeanours by his great friend Francis Schilling, but I am afraid they went to the grave with Francis and were probably not accurate anyway. Indeed, I remember vividly Brian at Francis Schilling's funeral - after the church service we all got into different cars to go to the Mortlake Cemetery. Brian, who was sometimes vague, managed to do the impossible and when another hearse happened to pass by, he solemnly followed it to the wrong cemetery for the wrong burial.

It is as a distinguished Diplomat however that many of you will remember Brian. This part of his life I missed and can only imagine:

the years abroad in the Foreign Service;

visiting Buckingham Palace to receive Honours and Appointments;

endless entertaining by Brian and Mary;

the Queen's Birthday Parties abroad - an annual highlight;

frequent dispatches which Brian often feared were never read, or perhaps only by a junior;

Then just look at where he was posted:

China 1936-40, Japan 1940-41, China again in 1942, Persia 1943, Paris 1944, Beirut (Consul) 1948, Belgrade (1st Secretary) 1950, Bern 1951-53, Holy See (Charge d'Affaires) 1955-61, Oporto (Consul General) 1962-68, Paraguay (Ambassador) 1968-72. Imagine the logistical nightmare of collecting his large family for school holidays - especially for the posting in Paraguay. Wherever Brian went it appeared the population spoke a different language and during these postings Brian practised his language skills Chinese, French, Italian, Spanish and Portuguese. His splendid letters from around the world will doubtless become treasured documents. His interest in History and Persian themes were continuing occupations, and it is important that we remember him as a scholar, writing for Dick Lamb's historical journal or translating works on Paraguay. Yet with all Brian's talents and successful diplomatic career - he was once heard to say he would be just as happy acting as Editor for the 'Roscommon Herald' provided he could write all the articles.

Perhaps Beirut was Brian's most significant posting, for it was there that he met and married Mary Hunter, and it was there that their eldest son Alan was born - the first of a large family. One of the greatest tributes to Brian was 54 years of happily married life with Mary. Wherever they were sent by the Foreign Office, Brian and Mary were accepted as dual representatives of the United Kingdom, despite the fact that Foreign Office wives do not seem to be paid for the wonderful job they do. Whatever posting they had, great friends were made and will all remember Brian's and Mary's kindness and hospitality. As the family grew, each year we eagerly awaited their Christmas Card so that we could count the number of children - Alan, Mark, Denis, Dominic, Henry, Paul, Francis, Lucy and Jacinta - sure enough, every year or so another one was added. And what a happy family it was and is. There was always an element of healthy competition, be it racing up a steep hill in Shaftesbury, the first to complete The Times Crossword puzzle in the morning or undertaking a long walk, either for charity or just for the challenge. Brian was the inspiration for these events. Indeed, it is as a family man that I would like to remember him. And by family, I do not just mean his own and Mary's family, but the extended family of the MacDermot Clan depended on him. Brian and Mary were there (for me) when my own parents were ill and dying and Brian always tried to attend all family events from weddings to funerals. The MacDermot Clan gatherings at Coolavin and Boyle, Co. Roscommon, were seldom missed. Along with Dermot MacDermot, Brian was fascinated by Irish History - hence his work on the Scully Family as well as his editing many of the Coolavin letters by members of the family. During his retirement Brian could often be found doing research in the London Library. Nor was Brian a dinosaur when it came to modem technology for he took to computers and internet with ease.

What, amongst other things, we shall miss about Brian was the interest he took in all of us here. Everyone was always made welcome in his house. How many memories flood back:

• Brian in difficulty having stepped backwards into a prickly cactus in Arizona;
• Dashing up and down the motorways from Winterfold to Downside to attend as many of the childrens' school events as he could;
• Brian and Mary in Rome at the christening of one of their children, while some of their other children were being fed champagne by cardinals;
• In Portugal educating the boys in the art of drinking port;
• As an Ambassador in Paraguay, out riding with his family;
• Brian and Dick Lamb both in their (late) seventies, setting off on a skiing holiday together;
• Organising endless April Fool jokes on the family;
• Deciding in retirement that he must learn a practical skill, hence many hours with the local bricklayer in Shaftesbury discussing the craft of being a 'brickie'. This building phase also encompassed his children, when he sought unsuccessfully to persuade one to study plumbing, another house painting and so on;
• Playing football with his children, then his grandchildren;
• Brian insisting on home made porridge everyday;
• Enjoying long walks with the family and various dogs throughout the countryside, be it abroad, in Suffolk or in Wiltshire;
• Brian's elderberry wine and home-brewed beer - and I well remember Dick Lamb telephoning me ahead of one lunch in Shaftesbury to ensure there would be something harmless to drink.
• All these, and many other muddled thoughts come back to me. But perhaps we can all remember one thing - despite his many preoccupations, Brian always had time for other people. Despite suffering hearing difficulties throughout his life, Brian always maintained a humble sense of humour and a love for his wife, children, grandchildren and the extended family, as well as a fierce loyalty to Downside and Balliol. He will be greatly missed.