Ahem. I did say that only a fool would want to know.

Even a man who is pure in heart And says his prayers by night May prickl'd become with a snuffly snout When a slug crawls 'neath his sight Old Margatonian proverb

REAL NAME: Faulkner, Neil

REAL NAME (IN RIGHT ORDER): Neil Faulkner

D.O.B.: 11th May, 1963

STAR SIGN: Taurus. With Libra rising. And Venus in Aries, which apparently makes me a red-hot superstud. So much for astrology, then.

HEIGHT/WEIGHT: A bit of both.

EYES: Two.

GREATEST AMBITION: To live a life unfettered by great ambitions.

GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT: Fulfilling greatest ambition.

PROFESSION: Checquered work history includes stints as nature reserve warden, lab technician, door-to-door salesman and teaching Inglish tu forranerz. Currently a night-shift machine op at Blowspeed technical blowmoulders.

FAVOURITE AUTHOR: Raymond Chandler

FAVOURITE SF AUTHOR: William Gibson

FAVOURITE FILM: Mad Max II

ALSO HIGHLY RATES... The Empire Strikes Back, Zulu, Brazil, Bladerunner, Silence of the Lambs, Excalibur and Hell Comes to Frogtown

WOULD MOST LIKE TO SEE A DECENT FILM MADE OUT OF: Strontium Dog

HOT SOUND PREFERENCE: Devo and Dusty Springfield

ALSO LATCHES THE LOBES ON... Delta blues, punk, 'eavy metal, Pulp, Portishead, Pink Floyd, Jefferson Airplane, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Kinks, Hollies, Leonard Cohen, Bowie, motown, 2-tone and New Order. In no particular order.

GETS THE EARPLUGS OUT FOR... All folk, C&W, Phil Collins, Stevie Wonder, Paul McCartney and the Lightning Seeds.

RELIGION: Not one of humanity's better ideas.

POLITICS: Take a Red flag, a Black flag, and a Green Flag and blend into one. What have you got? Something the colour of old vomit, probably, which might be why people throw up when I get onto politics.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT POINTS: Several, all deadly dull to normal people.

• Natural history (mainly birds, but a bit of dabbling in wild flowers, spiders, and aquatic invertebrates). Wrote a book on the birds of Thanet whilst spending a year on the Community Programme (1989). Of the 50 copies printed, 49 seem to have disappeared.
• Science Fiction. Principally Blakes 7, but not averse to a bit of cyberpunk. Collected 2000AD for several years until Johnny Alpha died and Garth Ennis started writing Judge Dredd. Can't keep up with current TVSF (Bab5, B:TVS etc) as I don't have a telly.
• Blakes 7 deserves a special mention because of the inordinate proportion of my life it continues to chew up. Times change, life moves on, but this cheapie bit of TV tat refuses to go away. Once I wrote enormous LOCs for the letterzines, now I tap out far too many posts for the mailing list. Once I scribbled down my own attempts at fanfic, now I collate other people's into my own zines. I might be the first person to have got the word 'shit' printed in a Horizon publication, though then again I might not. Produced seven issues of AltaZine until fandom moved onto the Net, so I moved there too.
• Fantasy Role-Playing. Possibly the only role-gamer to have played AD&D on and off for nearly twenty years without ever getting a character above 5th Level. Not that I like AD&D all that much, preferring WFRPS and T:2000. Haven't played a lot since I started working permanent nights, but still tinker with rules design and game world development.

Fascinating, huh. Time to hit that Back button, methinks.