The X-Files Drinking Game
How
To Play
It's an easy game. All you need to
play is a can (or glass) of your favourite beverage (if it's beer you tend to
have more fun, but that's just my opinion) and a TV. Just watch an episode (or
six) of the greatest show ever (yes, I do mean The X-Files) and when you see
one of the following occurrences drink* the relevant amount of your beverage.
*Note: one "drink", for entertainment's sake means a gulp equalling about five "drinks" per can.
Single
Drinks
These are the ones that are going to
happen in every episode, at least once:
1. Every time Scully is seen examining the internal organs of some corpse.
2. If Mulder or Scully is in a dark scary place and one of them drops or loses
their flashlight.
3. Each time Mulder or Scully calls each other on their cellular phone and the
first thing the other person says is "Where are you?"
4. Whenever Mulder or Scully gets into a fight and manages to lose his/her gun.
5. Every time a flashlight is used that is so bright it must require a car battery.
6. If Mulder mentions that something may be paranormal and another character
thinks he's joking.
7. If Mulder just happens to know some obscure case reference or fact that just
happens to be relevant to the case they're working on. (Take three if Scully
says it)
8. Any time anyone goes into a dark room and it is obvious they should not
be there.
9. Every time Scully misses proof of a paranormal event.
10. Any time Scully calls the connection between two things "purely circumstantial"
when the connection is so obvious it would have to hit her in the face and start
to wiggle to be any more obvious.
11. Any time Mulder and Scully split up
and Scully goes where the paranormal event isn't so that she misses the
whole thing and doesn't believe Mulder when he tells her about it. (Drink the
whole darn thing if she does see it)
12. Whenever Mulder just happens to notice some minute detail that will have
a direct impact on the case later on in the episode.
13. Every time we get a close-up of Scully's feet.
Double
Drinks
These are not so common but at least
one of them will be found in each episode:
1. Whenever Cancer Man is smoking around a visible "No smoking" sign.
2. Every time a mysterious character shows up to keep Mulder from learning the
truth.
3. Every time someone knows about Mulder's sister and won't tell him about it.
4. If a computer or other piece of electronics is used to 'bring out' or enhance
an image from something Mulder or Scully has found.
5. If you see the time 11:21.
6. Every time a reference is made to Mulder's obsession with porn.
7. Whenever Mulder is called 'Fox'.
8. Every time Cancer Man lights a cigarette.
9. Every time Mulder mentions his sister's abduction.
10. Whenever Mulder runs off and leaves Scully to get attacked just so that
he can save the day.
11. Whenever Mulder is seen with sunflower seeds.
12. Any time you see Mulder putting a masking tape X on a window. (Take 3 if
it's Scully)
13. Every time you see a Canadian license plate. (If it's your license
plate drink everything in site)
14. If Scully gets knocked unconscious. (Take 3 if Mulder shows any concern
at all)
15. Every time Scully tells Mulder to get some sleep. (Double if he actually
sleeps)
16. Every time Scully goes into an insanely dark room and calls out "Mulder?!"
(Four if it's Mulder and he calls out "Scully?!"
Three
Drinks
These aren't very common, but there's
a chance you'll see one:
1. Whenever Mulder is called 'Spooky'.
2. Every time Deep Throat, Mr. X or that Marita-bitch appears.
3. If Mulder is seen actually looking at porn.
4. If Mulder or Scully gets into a fight, loses their gun, and wins the fight
without the other's help.
5. Every time you see Mr. X kill someone.
6. If Skinner is seen anywhere other than FBI head-quarters.
7. Every time Scully smokes, or Mulder drinks.
8. Every time Mulder or Scully goes into a dangerous situation with a nameless
officer who is obviously going to get killed.
9. Every time Mulder or Scully fires a gun. (Double if they hit someone. Triple
if they kill someone)
Four
Drinks
These are not very likely to happen at
all, but they might:
1. If they ever drive a car other than a Ford Taurus.
2. If someone feels sick during an autopsy. (Other than you, that is)
3. If Mulder or Scully is seen wearing anything other than a business suit.
(Double if it's underwear)
4. Any time Scully is seen driving the car. (Double if she's by herself)
The
Whole Drink!
These are extremely rare, but fun when they happen:
1. The credits include a phrase other than 'The truth is out there'.
2. If Scully believes something is paranormal and Mulder doesn't.
3. Any time Mulder or Scully has a date or any other romantic encounter. (NO,
not with each other)
Oh
No!
If any of these happen, drink the whole case of whatever you are drinking
and pray that when you pass out you never wake up:
1. Samantha Mulder (the absolutely real one) turns up.
2. Mulder finds irrefutable proof of aliens and presents the evidence to everyone.
3. Mulder and Scully engage in any act of romance.
4. Anything else that will just ruin the show.