STAR WARS HUMOUR
STAR WARS CANTINA
(to the tune of Barry Manilow's "Copa Cabana")
Her name is Leia, she was a princess
With a danish on each ear, and Darth Vader drawing near
So R2D2 found Ben Kenobi
He had to get the plans into Rebel hands
So Luke and Obi-Wan had to get to Alderaan
So they stepped into Mos Eisley to have a drink with Han
CHORUS:
At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a
At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
Music and blasters and old Jedi masters
At the Star Wars Cantina
His name is Solo, he was a pilot
With a blaster at his side, and a smile 12 parsecs wide
He knew Chewbacca, he was a Wookie
And he spoke with Obi-Wan about the Millenium Falcon
Docking bay 94, stormtroopers at the door
With a flash of Ben's lightsaber, there's an arm on the floor!
CHORUS
His name is Yoda, he was a Muppet
Darth Vader was so bad (by the way, he's Lukes dad)
Luke kissed his sister, his hand got cut off
In that galaxy far, far 'way, Luke has had a lousy day
Boba Fett was so mean, Jabba had bad hygiene
Why couldn't they all just relax back on Tattooine
CHORUS
Yoda (to the tune of The Kinks' Lola)
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah Where it bubbles all the timelike a giant carbonated soda,S O D A, soda,
I saw the little runt sitting there on a logwell, I aked him his name and in a raspy voice he said Yoda,Y O D A, Yoda,Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
Well, I've ben around but I ain't never seen A guy who looks like a muppet but he's wrinkled and green Oh my Yoda,Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo YodaYo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda Now, I left home just a week before,
And I never ever been a Jedi before but Obi-Wan he set me straight of course, He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force."
Now, I'm not the kind that'll argue with Ben So it looks I'm gonna start all over again with my Yoda,Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo YodaYo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
So I used the force, I picked up a box, I lifted some rocks, And I stood on my head,But I won't forget what Yoda said, he said: "Luke, stay away from the darker side, and if you start to go astray let the Force be your guide."
Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
He said, "I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed, But, remember if you kill him then you'll be unemployed!"
Oh my Yoda,Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
Welll, I heard my friends really got in a mess so it looks like I'll be leaving Yoda, I guess But I know that I'll be coming back someday I'll be making these movies till I'm old and grey
The long-term contract I hadda sign means I'll be making these movies till the end of time with my YodaYo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda (continue to fade...)
List of things that do not make on intelligent
10 Being able to belch the Imperial March.
9. the ability to shoot womprats in your T-16 back home.
8 The ability to collect pathetic life forms
7 The ability to recognize shiny gold droids as gods
6 The ability to find a vauge similarity between a minority group and an Episode I character.
5 The ability to make an anti-Jar Jar website.
4 The ability to get straight A's in every class .... no, wait
3 The ablilty to shut me off does-
2 Standing on your head in front of Darth Maul yelling, "Darth Sidious sucks!"
1 The ability to kill 5 battle droids by stepping on a dead on
by Qui Gon Joe