Crap Thing of the Month

We endeavour to bring you a new crap thing every month. However, due to technical difficulties and general laziness it will probably be every 3-6 months.

Crap thing of the month.

  Warning: lots of swearing in this months crap thing - Look away now if you are easily offended.

  Please note the names of 2 major telephone companies have been changed to protect us from being sued.

As you have seen in this months news Gavin moved house on the 9^th of July. For the last 2½ years he has been a customer of TB, however when he came to move house he was told that to keep his phone number he would have to pay £36 + VAT and then an additional connection fee (about £16). Okay, at first that doesn’t seem to bad, but when he arrived at the new place and plugged in the phone there was nothing, the line was dead. After another phone call to TB (from a mobile and we all know how much they cost to use!) he was told that and engineer would have to come out and he would have to pay the call out charge. Then… they said the earliest someone could come round would be 24^th July, nearly two weeks away. When asked why it would take so long the TB operator could not come up with any explanation.

  What a bunch of fucking wankers, I mean come on, this is a huge international fucking company, with a fucking multi-million pound turnover, who go about fucking ripping us all off so they can finance those fucking adverts, with fucking ET in them.

  Thankfully all ended well, the man from BellEuro came round that evening and week Gavin had his new phone line and Cable TV all for only £10 a month + an initial £10 installation fee, and did I mention you get a discount for payment by direct debit.

  So take action, tell TB to fuck off and call BellEuro now.

  *You should also note that with BellEuro you could get Playboy, Fantasy channel and the Adult channel – but just remember, semen is a persistent stain.

Crap thing of the month (or last 2 months, I knew this wouldn’t work)

As you have seen from this months news Shaun visited the local tattooist and had his nose pierced, the following Tuesday he sneezed and lost the stud! The terrible affair happened at precisely 11.52 am on 5^th June, in the boys toilets at Shaun’s school in Totnes. (Boys toilets eh? remember those ‘strange habits’ mentioned in this months news). As you can imagine Shaun is distraught and is finding it difficult to cope with the loss. If you have any information that will lead to the recovery of his much-loved treasure, please let us know. There is a reward of £2 being offered.

Last Months Crap Thing..........

Pugsly.com is home to Pugsly the cat. He is black and white and we think a neutered tom. From what we can gather from the web site he is some sort of ‘Master chef’ cat.

This may seem like a bad thing at first, however we may be able to use this to our advantage – OK I’m not sure how, but I’m thinking about it.