The next time, you buy an F-16, or DC-10 Aircraft, you may want to take
care of completing the Registration Form for the Aircraft/Missile, that you
would be purchasing.
McDonnell Douglas
AIRCRAFT - SPACE SYSTEMS - MISSILES
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase:
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect
your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration
card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will
help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1._Mr. / _Mrs. / _Ms. / _Miss / _Lt. / _Gen. / _Comrade / _Classified / _Other
First Name____________________ Initial(s)____
Last Name_________________________ Awards/Medals__________________________
Latitude________________________ Longitude__________________________________
Altitude________________________ Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________
2.Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_F-14 Tomcat / _F-15 Eagle / _F-16 Falcon / _F-19A Stealth / _Classified
3.Date of purchase: Month___________ Day___________ Year____________
Serial Number____________________
4.Please check where this product was purchased:
_Received as Gift/Aid Package
_Catalog Showroom
_Sleazy Arms Broker
_Mail Order
_Discount Store
_Government Surplus
_Classified
5.Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have
just purchased:
_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store Display
_Espionage
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Was attacked by one
6.Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase
this McDonnell Douglas product:
_Style/Appearance
_Kickback/Bribe
_Recommended by salesperson
_Speed/Maneuverability
_Comfort/Convenience
_McDonnell Douglas Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Price/Value
_Back-Room Politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat
7.Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
_North America
_Central/South America
_Aircraft Carrier
_Europe
_Middle East
_Africa
_Asia/Far East
_Misc. Third-World Countries
_Classified
8.Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
in the near future:
Product:
Own
Intend to
purchase
Color TV:
VCR:
ICBM:
Killer Satellite:
CD Player:
Air-to-Air Missiles:
Space Shuttle:
Home Computer:
Nuclear Weapon:
Army of Mercenaries:
9.How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all
that apply:
_Communist/Socialist
_Terrorist
_Crazed (Islamic)
_Crazed (Other)
_Neutral
_Democratic
_Dictatorship
_Corrupt (Latin American)
_Corrupt (Other)
_Primitive/Tribal
10.How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
_Cash
_Suitcases of Cocaine
_Oil Revenues
_Deficit Spending
_Personal Check
_Credit Card
_Ransom Money
_Traveler's Check
_Didn't pay, just pointed the odd ICBM in our direction
11.Please give the occupations of yourself and your spouse:
Occupation:
You
Your Spouse
Homemaker
Sales/Marketing
Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Middle Management
Eccentric Billionaire
Defense Minister/General
Retired
Student
Unemployed
12.To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest:
You
Your Spouse
Golf
Boating/Sailing
Sabotage
Running/Jogging
Propaganda/Disinformation
Destabilizing/Overthrow
Invasion of smaller neighbour
Default on Loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black Market/Smuggling
Collectibles/Collections
Watching Sports on TV
Wines
Interrogation/Torture
Household Pets
Crushing Rebellions
Espionage/Reconnaissance
Fashion Clothing
Border Disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500
USA
From the Internet. © unknown. The publication of this item of humour does not constitute any statement or opinion on the McDonnel Douglas Corporation, their products, business practices or customers.