Owain F Carter

Am I circumcised?


Humour


kommandant (wl8c@watt.seas.Virginia.EDU) wrote:

Before I can get into the discussion proper, how do I tell if a
I am circumsized or not(I am probably going to get killed for
asking this, but please bear with me)? 

	You must first ascertain whether you are a male or a female.  
Only a male can be circumcised (as the term is used in a "penis" newsgroup.  
Female circumcision exists, but it be discussed in "alt.tasteless.clitoris".
By the way, my experience has been that these body parts are far from 
'tasteless.')

	I will assume you are able to ascertain whether you are a male or 
a female.  If you need help, ask your mother.

	If you are a male, you should then go into a room, alone, and 
close the door.  Take off your pants and any underwear you have on.

	Hanging from the base of your belly, sortof between your legs, 
but in front of your legs, there should be some fleshy body parts.  These 
are generally termed your "genitals," or, colloquially, "the family 
jewels."  (If you do not have these, inquire of your mother what happened 
to them and make sure at the same time that your assumption that you are 
a male is correct.)

	In most men, there are two main body parts to the genitals.  The 
uppermost part is a cylindrical object called "the penis."  (The lower 
part should be a bag or pouch with two round organs inside.  If any of 
these are absent, refer to your physician.)

	You should put yourself in a position to examine the penis
visually and with your hand.  (Ignore any instructions from priests, etc. 
that you should never handle your penis -- this is science and important
to personal hygiene.  It will be all right if you do not derive any
pleasure from handling your penis.  If you find this experiment makes you
feel anxious, have a large bowl of ice water nearby.  At the first
indication of pleasure, submerge your genitals in the ice water.  This
will immediately cause the pleasure to cease.) If your belly is too large
to examine your penis directly by eye, stand in front of a full-length
mirror. 

	The part of the penis near your belly is the "base."  The part of 
the penis furthest from the belly is the "head."

	In its natural condition, the penis has a double layer of skin, 
often rather loose, that covers all, or part of, the head.  This is 
called the "foreskin."  The foreskin can be slid back toward the base, 
exposing the head.  If you have such a foreskin, you are not 
circumcised.  

	Some men have had the foreskin removed surgically, for reasons of
health, religion or social custom.  This surgery, called "circumcision" 
is usually performed when the male is an infant.  (I am not suggesting
that the reasons are good reasons or bad reasons.  That is a debate I
decline to enter.  I am only answering your question.) If you do not have
a foreskin, you have been circumcised. 

Mahesh Ramachandran, From the Internet. Original © not known. This version ©2000 OFC