Owain F Carter

Bumblebee Massacre with Condom


Humour


We had a colony of bumblebees inhabiting the space above the insulated
ceiling in our well-house.  Rose is the expert on pest control, and she said
to use Sevin powder.  It is indeed quite deadly to bees --  but only on
contact.

Now I could sprinkle some around the exits, and *eventually* they would all
come in contact with it.  But Rose is allergic to bee stings, so a
quicker method was called for.  Obviously, we must disperse the powder.  But 
how to disperse it in a quite small and inaccessible space?

Explosives, of course.

Now how to contain the powder until the charge goes off?  Hmmm...aa-HAH!
Put two tablespoons of Sevin powder, and a small firecracker, in a tiny paper
bag. Wrapped it up good and tight to make a nice neat package. Drilled a hole
in the ceiling, inserted the package, lit the fuse, stepped outside, and
waited....
thud.  Nothing.  Firecracker went off, but the bag muffled the explosion.

Must be too much paper wrapped around the package to enable the firecracker
to really do its job.  What sort of container will hold the stuff, but rupture
easily?
Hmmm...a balloon?  Nope.  Can't get the powder into it -- opening is too
narrow.
On the right track, though.  Need something similar, but with a wider opening.
Hmmm...aa-HAH!  A CONDOM!!  Assembled package, inserted it, lit fuse, waited...
BANG!

Looked inside the shed. White dust *everywhere*.  Perfect. Bumblebee crawls
through hole.  Covered with white powder.  Looks like George  Washington with
six legs.  Can't fly -- sort of spiraled to the ground.  Stepped on it.

Then out came another one.  Same story.  Stepped on it too.  Then another.
Forty-two times.  End of problem.

rob@redwood.nl / kkereke@iamerica.net (Kirk Kerekes), From the Internet. © not known.