Owain F Carter

Love Lust and Marriage


Humour


How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married?

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - All the other times.
MARRIAGE - What's intercourse?

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over money.

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - What's a climax?

LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.

LOVE - When you show concern for your partners' feelings.
LUST - When you couldn't give a shit.
MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV

LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you darling..."
LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..."
MARRIAGE - When your farewell is silent.

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST- When you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE - When your heart flutters everytime you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches everytime you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE - When nobody else matters.
LUST - When nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - When it's just the same old mushy shit.
MARRIAGE - When you never listen to music.

LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought

LOVE - When you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - When you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE - When you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.


From the Internet. Original © not known. This version ©2000 OFC