Owain F Carter

Stories from Directory Enquiry operators


Humour



Caller: Can you give me the number of the Argoed Fish bar in Caerphilly please ?
Operators: Im sorry theres no number listed, is that the correct spelling ?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish bar but the B  fell off.

Caller: I'm looking for the Woven knitwear company, can you help ?
Operators: Woven, are you sure ? 
Caller: Yes, thats what it says on the label, Woven in Scotland.

Caller: I'd like a vegetarian surgeon please.
Operators: Vegetarian ?   
Caller: Yes, my dogs ill.

Operators: What's the address ?    
Caller: I don't know.  It was dark when I went there.

Caller: I'd like the RSPCA please.
Operators: Where are you calling from ?     
Caller: The living room.

Caller: The Water Board please.
Operators: Which department ?     
Caller: Tap Water.
   
Operators: How are  you spelling that?     
Caller: With letters.

Caller: I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff please ?
Operators: Do you have his name ?     
Caller: No but he has a Cocker Spaniel called Ben.

Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.
Operators: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers ?   

A man called the Operator making heavy breathing noises from a call box.  He told the worried operator:

I haven't got a pen so Im steaming up the window to write the number on...

One of the most stupid:
Caller: Harold Bishop, Ramsey Street, Erinsborough, Australia please.  .
Operators: Completely lost for words.........................


From Egryn apGriffydd Ellis 
UK forum (Wales)

Egryn ap Griffydd Ellis, 114063.3316@compuserve.com (CompuServe UK Forum / Wales)