A week ago I read an advertorial in a dutch magazine about a newly and
just released device called the "GayScan". It stated that you can just
take it with you in your pocket and whenever a homosexual person
(either male or female) enters the vicinity it starts to either beep or
silently vibrate, depending on which mode had been selected.
Well, I was very sceptical and thought that this was just a scam.
Nevertheless I ordered one, out of professional interest (I am a
researcher in the field of biochemics). It is pretty expensive
(converted, about 80 US$ pp) but I did not really expect anything. To
my big surprise however, the damn thing actually worked! My 21 years
old son, who told me he was a homosexual several years ago, happily
assisted in testing the GayScan. It did not produce a single error.
Each time my son came within about 3 feet of the detector, it would
start beeping. However, it would not beep when my wife would approach
the device. When both my wife and my son approached, it would also
beep.
For a few days, I pondered about how it was possible that this little
device worked, when a collegue, also a biochemist, showed me a letter
which contained a yet unpublished article of Prof. dr. E. Legnem, at
the University of Jerusalem, Israel, stating that recently genetical
differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals have been
discovered. It appeared that it is possible to determine whether
someone is homosexual by taking samples of their breath and analyze the
gasses it contains. It even came with some sort of recepy that can be
used to facilitate this analyzation. My guess is that this letter has
fallen into the hands of the manufacturer of GayScan, a company
named "Blue Moon Ltd."
The device got delivered in a neutral envelope. When I unpacked it I
found a little black disc-like device, easily fitting in the palm of my
hand. The exteriour of the GayScan can be explained. It looks somewhat
like this from the front:
____ ______
switch (undocumented) | | on/off switch
___________V__V___
/___________^__^_/ \
/ Gay :::::: |O| <- switch (detect homo/hetero)
| Scan :::::: |O| <- switch (beep/buzz)
\_______^______o__\_/
| ^
| |_ LED: on if GayScan operates
|
tiny holes
It needs two Penlite (AA) powercells, not included in the package.
Through the tiny holes in the front it gathers the needed gasses it
uses to determine if a person is a homosexual. The device also
contains a switch to reverse its output. When so selected, the device
will only beep if a person that is NOT a homosexual approaches. This
way, homosexuals can also use the device, which would otherwise only
detect themselves all the time.
When I read todays newspaper I found a little article which actually
mentioned the GayScan. It was feared that the device would be misused
and would lead to discrimination of homosexuals. Those parties want to
prohibit the GayScan device. Other parties claim that such device
would actually help homosexuals in their fight against discrimination.
A talkshow about these issues has already been planned. Meanwhile, the
device sells "like hotcakes", as a spokesman of Blue Moon put it. He
could not say if there would be enough devices left to be able to ship
until the end of next month.
Regards,
Dr. I. Ewmai.
P.S.: To avoid having my mailbox flooded with requests, I'll post the
address of this company right here:
Blue Moon Ltd.
Da Costakade 147 I
1053 WT Amsterdam
THE NETHERLANDS
Send US $1 or the equivalent and a self-addressed envelope with the words
"CATALOG" in the upperleft corner, and Blue Moon will send you a catalog
together with an ordering form.
--
Dr. I. Ewmai. Science department of FWIlab, Amsterdam, The Netherlands.
"White cream is the biochemists wet dream" - Dr. Samuel -E.T.- Abrut
DISCLAIMER: These are not my views, and not those of my employer.
(Dr. I. Ewmai) groenewo@fwi.uva.nl From the Internet. Original © not known. This version ©2000 OFC