Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican - They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
Baptist - Once played, always played.
Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
[added by C. David Salico, on EcuLaugh]
Liberalism - I feel good playing with toys, don't you. That is why I know I am going to heaven
Republicans - If you don't repeal this tax on all toys, you will go to hell.
Judaism -- He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
Baha'i Faith -- Let's play with our toys together.
Baptist -- We have played with this toy this way for years, and we are not going to change.
Presbyterian- These toys were chosen for you to play with and these were chosen for me to play.
Apostolic Faith (Oneness Movement) - There is only one toy, and it is in our church.
Crystal Cathedral - There are no bad toys, and no bad toy players.
Methodist - Toys are toys are toys.
Assembly of God -It doesn't matter how you play with the toys as long as more people join in with you.
Name-it-Claim-it - I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys.
Word of Faith - Send me $100 and I will tell you "How you TOO can have more toys."
Witchcraft - Toy making is killing our Earth Goddess.
[added by Steve Weston]
Lutheranism -- We are justified by toys alone through play (and not by work, lest anyone should boast).
from Mike Porter, via HAND! Original © not known. This version ©2000 OFC