You’re undeniably Catholic when …

You sit on the end of a pew and refuse to scoot over when others need a seat.

You have your own designated seat for Mass

You think it's someone elses job to sing and, you page blankly through hymnals when songs are announced (if you are lucky, you will eventually find the right song in the right book)

You think a missal is a book and not ammunition

You use your derriere to kneel

You genuflect upon entering Saint Paul's Cathedral in London (just out of habit)

Your red neck is caused by your scapular

You think the picture of the lady with the roses is someone other than the Blessed Mother

You don't hold seances with your incense

If a letter on your miraculous medal is partly rubbed off, you don't think it says: "O Mark, conceived without sin..."

You think "trespass" refers to something other than stepping on someone's lawn

You still think fish should be cheap

You don't drink the holy water

You put $5.00 in the collection basket and think you're being generous

You don't think of Mormons when you hear the word "tabernacle"

Someone says the Cardinals are flying to LA, you think: "Law, Keeler..."

You hear "14 stations" you don't think of tv

A few years back, when you heard of "Sister Soulja", you thought she was a nun from Africa

You heard an organization wanted an MC for their dinner, you thought they were going to invite Mother Teresa to speak.

You bought a Subaru because you thought it was named after Saint Bernadette.

You know the Knights of Columbus aren't a hockey team from Ohio.

You have belonged to the same parish with someone for 20 years but never see them because you attend Saturday night mass and they are Sunday people.

You know that CCD isn't some new recording technology term.

You know that Daniel Chapter 11 has nothing to do with his going bankrupt.

You know that Perpetual Adoration has nothing to do with adolescents and movie or rock stars.

Every time you hear a cricket you have the uncontrollable urge to genuflect.

You know that John Paul isn't half of the Beatles.

The term Father's stole doesn't mean your dad's were thieves.

You were really disappointed when you found out Julie Andrews was never really a nun.

You think singing is the choirs job.

When someone asks "Is the Pope a Catholic?" you respond, "The last time I checked."

You know the difference between NFP and the NFL.

You sneeze, someone says "bless you" and you automatically make the sign of the cross.

You know the rosary is NOT a piece of jewelry.

Contrast with How to know when you're becoming too fundamental