1.If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
2.If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
3.If there is no God, who pops up the next kleenex in the box?
4.When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?
5.Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through teller machines?
6.How did a fool and his money get together?
7.If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon to the pan?
8.How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
9.If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
10.What's another word for thesaurus?
11.Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
12.What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
13.Why is abbreviation such a long word?
14.Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
15.Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
16.How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes?
17.Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
18.When you choke a smurf, what color do they turn?
19.Does fuzzy logic tickle?
20.Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
21.Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the special olympics?
22.Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
23.Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
24.If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
25.What was the best thing before sliced bread?
26.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
27.Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
28.Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
29.Is it possible to be totally partial?
30.If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
31.If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
32.If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest, does it make a sound?
33.If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
34.If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? [garnish: arrest, or sequestrate; as in garnishee order]
35.When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
36.Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
37.Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
38.Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
39.Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
40.Why do people sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when they're already there?
41.Why do people say "tuna fish?" They don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird!"
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water?
If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
If two voyeurs work together, are they "peers"?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
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