Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters whenever they had sex.
Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, “How's the girlfriend?”
Pinocchio replied, “Who needs a girlfriend?”