Angus was in a dilemma. He had been courting the lovely Fiona Campbell for some time and wanted to pop the question over dinner that very evening but was stymied as to how he would ask her. Hoping for some sort of revelation, he wandered through the village of Newtonmore where he espied a sign in the haberdasher's shop that read: "Tartan Underwear Made To Order".
Thinking that a pair of tartan boxers would we warm and comfy under his kilt, Angus entered the shop and asked how much material would be needed. The shop-keeper replied that it usually took about a yard and a half but there was one wee problem: "I canna sell ye any less than twa yarrrds."
"Are ye daft, man???" Angus shouted. "What on earth am I going to do with a yarrrd and a half of tarrrtan?"
The shop-keeper replied: "Ah weel noo, most of the lads have me make up a pairrr o' knickers for the lady."
Suddenly, the proverbial light-bulb came on over Angus's head. He now knew just how to pop the question. The told the shop-keeper to make up a pair of boxers and to hold on to the rest of the material. Angus ran his errands in the village and picked up his newly-made underwear and rushed home.
That evening, Angus was so nervous and excited that he could barely remember what to do next as he put on his kilt and he literally ran to the Inn where sweet Fiona was waiting for him. There, over dinner, he looked into Fiona's eyes and said: "Lass, would ye take a wee peek underrr the table?" Puzzled at first, Fiona looked under the table and discovered that Angus had quite forgotten to put on his new boxers. Angus then asked: "Noo lass, did ye see anything under therrre that ye liked?"
Fiona smiled and said: "Aye, Angus. I did."
Angus said in his most sincere and affectionate voice: "Fiona, if you'll be my wife, there's a foot and a half o' that waitin' for ye!"
Fiona fainted.