You can bugger a pig if you cling to its ear.
You can bugger a sheep if you wear the right gear.
But there’s one beast you cannot approach from the rear.
For the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger a goose if you slap on some grease.
You can bugger a fox if you don’t mind the fleas,
Or a dormouse if you get right down on your knees.
But the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger an owl in the dead of the night,
Or a badger if you get the timing just right.
Take a bull by the horns, it’s the farmer’s delight.
But the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger a Hare if you run very fast,
Or a sloth if you’re knackered and want it to last,
Or a whale if you find your ambition is vast.
But the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger a porpoise if you find a school,
Or a penguin or two if you jump in their pool,
Or a long-necked giraffe if you stand on a stool.
But the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger a camel with one hump or two.
You can bugger a llama, and lots of blokes do,
Or a blue-arsed baboon, or a monkey in lieu,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger a rhino on Africa’s plain,
Or an elephant if you have use of a crane.
You can bugger a bison without any pain.
But the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger a bear if you catch it asleep,
Or a wild mountain goat if the mountain’s not steep
And your aim is quite good, and you’re prepared to leap.
But the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
You can bugger a bat if you cling to the wall.
You can bugger a snail if you slow to a crawl.
But there’s one beast that cannot be buggered at all.
For the hedgehog can never be buggered.
No the hedgehog can never be buggered.
Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all animals, you can have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They’ll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The result I think you’ll find will appall:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Mounting a horse can often be fun
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can ravish a sloth but it would take all night
With a shark it is faster, but the darned beast might bite
We already mentioned the horse, you may recall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur
To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer
The lemurs cry “Frink!” as a coy mating call
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
From the Internet. © not known.